Don’t Become One of THESE Couples When You Get Engaged

Written on July 21, 2011 by Cody Whitefoord

Its great to be getting married, and wedding planning takes a lot of time, but

theres no reason to stop hanging out with your friends during your engagement. Still, many couples start keeping to themselves when they get engaged, alienating the very people they expect to attend their wedding–and maybe even serve in their wedding party.

Ive seen it happen so many times, and Ive told countless friends (and reminded myself) not to take it personally when engaged buddies drop off the face of the earth for a while. The couples, as far as I can tell, dont even realize what theyre doing (because Im sure if they did, theyd feel silly).

First, weekends are consumed by wedding venue and wedding vendor shopping, as they should be. But then, they start thinking of more wedding tasks they can do, unnecessary things that take up way more time than theyre worth (lets write clever bios about all of our wedding vendors and post them on our Web site and I know weve booked everything already, but maybe theres someone better out there. Lets keep meeting with people.) Or maybe theyre just so exhausted from running around, theyd rather just veg out alone every free moment.

Some of the friendships go back to the way things were pre-engagementand some dont. Thats why its not worth the risk. While your pals will probably put on a happy face for your wedding day, they may be less likely to be there for you post-wedding if youre not there for them during your engagement. If you know you want to explore lots of options for your wedding or take on tons of DIY projects, perhaps you should have a longer engagement so you have time for both wedding planning and friendships. Or, hey, involve your friends with your plans and see if they want to pitch in. If youre not the best at managing your time, consider the same things–or have a super-short engagement so the not-seeing-your-friends phase only lasts a few months instead of a year or more.

Have any engaged friends of yours stopped hanging with you? Do you think you could unwittingly fall into this wedding trap? Or do you think you should take your engagement to be alone with your fiance as often as possible?