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“Help! How Can I Enjoy My Best Friend’s Wedding When My Ex Is the Best Man? (p.s. His New Girl Will Be There!)”

Written on April 18, 2011 by Cody Whitefoord

Well this wedding has the potential to be VERY stressful!

Writes Save the Date reader Lucy:

My best friend is getting married in a month and I couldnt be happier for her. She and her guy are perfect for each other, which Ive known all alongmy ex and I set them up!

Im her maid of honor, which is SO exciting. So heres the problem: My ex is the grooms best man.

My ex broke my heart, big time. Now hes in love with another girl, wholl hell be bringing to the wedding.

Me? Im 100 percent single and will be attending the wedding solo.

What can I expect? Do you have any tips for how to handle this potentially heart-wrenching day so I can be there for my best friend?

Here are my thoughts:

This wedding definitely has the potential to stink, but I think its great that youre looking to make the best of it, so I came up with a 6-part plan to help you enjoy the wedding! Here you go!

1) Look amazing. Need to have your roots touched up? Do it now. Thinking about giving Pilates a try? Nows a great time to start! (Endorphins!) While youre booking those appointments, make sure you schedule a pre-wedding mani-pedi. And even if the bride isnt asking you to get your hair and makeup done by a pro, plan to do both, if you can swing it money-wise. No, a bunch of superficial crap (and yes, I know its all superficial crap) isnt going to help your heart, but I promise the day will go better if youre feeling good about yourself.

2) Smile, damn it. Or, Fake it til you make it, as they say. In situations like this, I think looking happy is the first step in feeling happy.

3) Dont feel like you have to approach him. If talking to your ex is going to be hard, you dont have to go out of your way to chat him up. As maid of honor, you have license to look busy all nighteven if youre just running to the bathroom to get yourself a glass of water.

4) But have something prepared in case he approaches you. Think ahead of time about how youll answer the basics: How are you doing? Hows your job? How are your parents? or the ever-so-vague, Whats new? Play up the positive, keep your answer concise, and then stage your exit. Im really great! I just started Pilates and my job is going better than ever. Id love to chat, but the bride needs me to bustle her dress. (Bustle her dress is a fantastic excuse. Hell have NO idea what youre talking about, but it sounds important!)

5) Ask your friend if you can NOT walk down or up the aisle with your ex. Yes, its a little bit nontraditional not to have the maid of honor and best man walk up the aisle together at the end of the ceremony, but there are lots and lots of easy solutions. Honestly, I still wouldnt want to walk anywhere on the arm of a guy whod broken my heartand Im happily married!

6) Have funeat! dance! drink!but dont get drunk. Dont get drunk. Dont get drunk. Dont get drunk. Really, dont get drunk. Have a drink, or a couple of drinks, but know how many drinks you can realistically have before youll start getting sad or, worse, loud and angry. As long as youre not drunk, go ahead and shake your groove thang and flirt with the brides hot older brother. If you act like youre enjoying yourself, you might surprise yourselfsee number 2and actually have fun!

Ladies, what do you think Lucy should do? Are there any tips I missed?

Have a wedding-y dilemma of your own? E-mail me!

p.s. Make sure to tune in to see Glamours 25 Biggest Wedding Dos and Donts on Style, premiering April 23 at 9:00 P.M. EDT. Find out more about the show at mystyle.com.

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